I love words, don’t you? Words can be so fun when you put them together in funny, fun ways. Take, as an example, Mr. Bernanke’s latest remarks:
“We at the Federal Reserve will have to remain exceptionally alert and flexible as we continue to assess how best to promote sustainable economic growth and price stability in the
Oh, no! Mr. Bernanke. I’m confused. You said “sustainable” and “growth.” I didn’t think we could put those two words together to make a sensible sentence. Or maybe he means “sustainable” like “growth and growth and growth” all at the same rate. But isn’t that exponential growth?
He didn’t read my piece yesterday, that the next NEW NEW THING is NO GROWTH.
But don’t worry. Mr. Bernanke is going to remain “exceptionally alert and flexible” as he tries to figure out how to BEST promote that growth…” Remaining just everyday “alert and flexible” isn’t adequate. These are exceptional times that call for exceptional alertness. And why is he so remarkably alert? CNN says it’s all because of us. He’s worried about the strength of our (consumer) spending.
I think we should all be “exceptionally alert and flexible” about our spending, too. My hunch is that we’ve gotten so good and strong at spending that maybe we should become more alert about whether or not we spend strong at all, this holiday season. It would take a lot of “strength” to reign in that sort of spending, wouldn’t it?
Golly, I just love Fed Chairmen, don’t you? They are sitting there, all alert and flexible, just watching and ready to help. Mr. Greenspan helped us with all of those flexible mortgages and now here’s Mr. Bernanke wanting to help us out as well.
But I have my own concerns, right now, and I’m just worried as all heck about Citigroup. They need money. Do you owe Citigroup any money? Any outstanding mortgages or credit card debt? I think it is all time we, those caring consumers, send in bigger payments to Citigroup this holiday season, and be the
Bo Brownstein, an analyst covering financial stocks at Cambiar Investors in
Everyone seems to want to help Citi and even
Oil countries just seem to be in a sharing mood, or at least that’s what Wall Street hopes. Maybe since they got tons and tons of money from that five-fold increase in the price of crude oil during the last six years, they might be in a giving mood. We hope and hope that if OPEC will decide to play Oil Santa this December, and pump more of that oil that all Panglossians are sure is just begging to be pumped out, the price will drop and we’ll all have a very Merry Christmas. Open your pumps and we’ll open our wallets!
“No,” said the reluctant Oil Giants. “…we may not give you more oil. You have been a bad, bad dollar. You keep pretending you are worth more than you are! More oil will not resolve your problem. Even if we give you more, you will keep running up the price and won’t refine all that crude in a timely manner.”
“Please, please, raise production” the hungry traders cried, like baby wolves jumping at Mommy’s face after her hunt.
“Maybe we will decide to raise production, maybe we won’t.” OPEC replied.
Maybe they will tell us after the holidays, after we’ve opened up our wallets.
“No, Spend it!”
“No, You Pump First!”
“No, We’ll Tell You AFTER You Spend!”
We are so happy that oil has slumped to the low, low price of under $90 a barrel. It’s so cheap now, we should all be driving more! But wait, isn’t a slump a bad thing?
Well, it doesn’t matter, because we all must hope that the OPEC Santas HAVE more production to give, and they aren’t just crying “Wolf!”